That’s what the kids said after they threw the last rock into the ocean 🌊 on the Rhode Island shore. 🐚🌾
Here’s the story…I find it soothing to rub rocks you find at the beach. The rocks I choose at Matunuck Beach are small & white. I became obsessed with collecting them. One day I asked my mother what I should do with them.
“Number them & after each treatment, have Enzo (my son, 10-years-old at the time) throw it deep into the woods, a pond, the ocean, over a cliff!”
And with that I involved my son in the healing process as well. The first went right into the wetlands behind our house. The second into the Gulf of Mexico with my niece and nephew there to be sure it sailed far enough to be carried away. The third into the pond behind my brother’s condo complex, and finally, with much thought, I had the kids that walked the journey with me return the last rock into the waters at Matunuck Beach.
The kids being my best friend’s kids who wed have Sunday night dinners (or Tuesday, or Thursday…), who would come over to hang in the living room, or to do anything to distract me from the disintegration of my body, crumbling before my eyes. The kids brought me strength, power, motivation, and of course love. Although with the anticipation of each treatment came a feeling of fear, I knew it would be followed with our ritual.
What have the children in your life done for you? Who are your earth angels?
This year I will celebrate five years being cancer free! Yes, I am a cancer survivor, but I am also a mom, wife, and literacy coach. But my goal is to work with those who have had to endure what I have and worse to cure themselves. I am a Cancer Exercise Specialist. This is how the story begins...
Once upon a time I found a lump in my right breast. I was diagnosed with stage 2, grade 3 invasive breast cancer. I had surgery—a bilateral mastectomy (the amputation of both breasts) and one lymph node was removed. A month later I started my course of chemotherapy, resulting in the loss of all of my hair shortly after. I would soon find out that this cancer would be the kickoff to my lifelong purpose.
Being a fitness instructor meant that a major aspect of my identity would be greatly impacted. I mean—I had been going hard at working out for about 20 years! I no longer could raise my arms over my head, never mind lift a weight. I wore my cancer in silence; my wig was my shield from the rest of the world. As my identity was changing, so was my inner self. This was me. I didn’t fit in anymore in my fitness world. I was extremely active, teaching and participating in intense exercise workouts. Suddenly, I was marching in place, kicking my weights to the curb, and feeling like a misfit at our fitness studio. It made me feel bad being there, seeing all my fit friends sweating their hearts out, while I sat from the sidelines. My physical therapists said, “I don’t know what to do with you. You are more advanced than what I have to offer.” At that moment, I was stuck. I needed myself now. The me in 2020! I decided I was not going to waste my this cancer.
I made the decision to reach out to friends of friends and family members of those I knew to support them with what I could—experience and information. Suddenly I was no longer going to be that “polite—see if they need help before I’m asked for it”. I moved forward, leaving any trace of victimization behind. And it’s all history from there.
Each year I attend fitness conferences with the best of the best trainers in the fitness world. This past summer I found my niche—specializing in exercise programming for cancer survivors. I am humbled & empowered to get others to move!
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Move Forward 